Hey remember that time you made me pack up my life in a week and told me that we had to leave that day basically when a friend was over and still made me go to school....yea stop making me worry about moving this time k?

Never will I ever get a chance to tell you. And I think that's the part that hurts. The fact that you'll never know.

Any complaint that I make about something that is actually bothering me....

I just get told not to complain. This is why I don't tell people things. I just complain about stupid things. This is also why I write it out instead. Because a journal listens a person doesn't.

What's it called when guys only talk to you after they break up with their girlfriend? Like they are hitting on you right after? I mean I don't want them to hit on me while they are with their girlfriend obviously. But it's like they break up with their girlfriend talk to me and act interested and then get back with their girlfriends. It's really hard to describe but message to you.....please stop making me feel like I'm not good enough to be a first choice or like I am some filler for your time alone. It seriously hurts me and makes me feel useless.

Maybe if you took the time you spent complaining about something and applied it to something productive like practicing you would actually get what you want....Just a thought. But no you complain that you won't make it. Then complain when you don't. And honestly you'd probably complain about something if you were on it. So I'm happy that you aren't so I don't have to hear your whiny ass everyday on the practice field this fall.

If I died right now I don't think anyone would even know.....

You don't ignore what I needed from you for so many years then get mad when I mess up. I needed you too even if it seemed like I didn't. He got the most attention which is understandable given the circumstances. Everyone thought "Oh I hope he isn't depressed" He wasn't the one that was. Everyone expects everything to be okay because I've made better choices but it's not okay. I've felt like something has been missing for awhile now. So I filled that emptiness with the only thing that has truly made me happy. No matter how frustrated I get with it. I love everything about it. You don't listen. I hate school. I'd rather die than go back. I felt like throwing up everyday because I didn't want to go. But you don't know because if I bring it up you ignore it. It's probably my own fault maybe I should have just said something. Then the other night yes I was angry with you because you ignored me for a man that broke your heart. He is also the reason you pretty much ignored us for two years. If you want me to get my priorities set right could you please figure yours out and ignore him for once. Choose us this time.

I can write so many things but I could never put it to music. I would have no idea where to start