So here's the deal. I don't want a boyfriend. Being single has been more fun than being with some stinking guy. I don't worry as much, I'm not as stressed(and the things I am stressed about matter more than some dumb problem boys cause or I caused between us). But everyone around me having someone/getting engaged/getting promise rings(which is crazy Karasyn, but really awesome) kind of hits me hard. It makes me feel lonely even though I'm really not. But it also made me realize that I will probably honestly never get married. Now now now before you go spouting about nonsense how it isn't true listen to what I have to say. First I am too selfish for a guy. I ALWAYS put my needs before his. Not a lie and I accept it. Then they get upset then I get upset and it's a mess I don't care to deal with. Second I am too weird. Girls that are talking about one subject and then look at the sky and notice that the cloud is a bunny and then start talking about how they ran over a bunny once seldom have husbands. They usually have cats. Third I don't really want to have kids. Sometimes it sounds nice but other times just thinking about what childbirth is like makes me want to vomit. And not just the childbirth the 9 months then the whole raising thing just sounds like too much work.

I could probably list a few other things. But I think I've bashed myself enough for this evening. I just had to make some things clear.

EDIT:I wasn't sad when I wrote this. I have accepted it. It really doesn't bother me I just wanted to write about it.

Dang

This is like the year to get engaged I know 5 people that have got engaged this year. 4 of which happend within the last five months. And 2 that happened over this break. Freaking ridiculous. I'm happy for all of them though! I can't wait to attend their weddings!!! Congrats to all of you!!! Even though you won't probably ever see this.

ugh

I am getting so tired of people that its making me act like a crazy person. I cant say anything without getting a question about it or people saying its dumb. Im done i am.

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Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love

Chairlift - Bruises

Usually I just borrow my Nancy Drew games from Carrie, but yesterday I saw it and really wanted it....so I bought it. And just in time too finals are over so now I have something to do for maybe a day or two. So far I love the game and I haven't cheated as much as I normally do.....which is good but everyonce and awhile I just need that itty bitty hint to call the guy to get the book, you'd understand if you played. Which you should because it's fantastic.

Sometimes I wish I wouldn't get so crazy. I am so mean sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of my mouth and I hate myself for it. I try to watch myself but no it just has to come out. I need a piece of duct tape over my mouth all the time I guess. That would help at least a little bit. Ugh oh well I'll just blame it on hormones this week.

Sidenote:http://armorgames.com/play/6313/doodle-god(first one)

http://ninjakiwi.com/Games/Puzzle/Play/Doodle-Devil.html (second one)

Those games are very addictive. You combine elements to make new things. If you like puzzle games you'd probably like this game. They were I-phone apps I think but not are free for everyone to play on the internet. And it's pretty entertaining.

Blue Rondo A La Turk - Dave Brubeck