So here's the deal. I don't want a boyfriend. Being single has been more fun than being with some stinking guy. I don't worry as much, I'm not as stressed(and the things I am stressed about matter more than some dumb problem boys cause or I caused between us). But everyone around me having someone/getting engaged/getting promise rings(which is crazy Karasyn, but really awesome) kind of hits me hard. It makes me feel lonely even though I'm really not. But it also made me realize that I will probably honestly never get married. Now now now before you go spouting about nonsense how it isn't true listen to what I have to say. First I am too selfish for a guy. I ALWAYS put my needs before his. Not a lie and I accept it. Then they get upset then I get upset and it's a mess I don't care to deal with. Second I am too weird. Girls that are talking about one subject and then look at the sky and notice that the cloud is a bunny and then start talking about how they ran over a bunny once seldom have husbands. They usually have cats. Third I don't really want to have kids. Sometimes it sounds nice but other times just thinking about what childbirth is like makes me want to vomit. And not just the childbirth the 9 months then the whole raising thing just sounds like too much work.

I could probably list a few other things. But I think I've bashed myself enough for this evening. I just had to make some things clear.

EDIT:I wasn't sad when I wrote this. I have accepted it. It really doesn't bother me I just wanted to write about it.

Dang

This is like the year to get engaged I know 5 people that have got engaged this year. 4 of which happend within the last five months. And 2 that happened over this break. Freaking ridiculous. I'm happy for all of them though! I can't wait to attend their weddings!!! Congrats to all of you!!! Even though you won't probably ever see this.

ugh

I am getting so tired of people that its making me act like a crazy person. I cant say anything without getting a question about it or people saying its dumb. Im done i am.

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Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love

Chairlift - Bruises

Usually I just borrow my Nancy Drew games from Carrie, but yesterday I saw it and really wanted it....so I bought it. And just in time too finals are over so now I have something to do for maybe a day or two. So far I love the game and I haven't cheated as much as I normally do.....which is good but everyonce and awhile I just need that itty bitty hint to call the guy to get the book, you'd understand if you played. Which you should because it's fantastic.

Sometimes I wish I wouldn't get so crazy. I am so mean sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of my mouth and I hate myself for it. I try to watch myself but no it just has to come out. I need a piece of duct tape over my mouth all the time I guess. That would help at least a little bit. Ugh oh well I'll just blame it on hormones this week.

Sidenote:http://armorgames.com/play/6313/doodle-god(first one)

http://ninjakiwi.com/Games/Puzzle/Play/Doodle-Devil.html (second one)

Those games are very addictive. You combine elements to make new things. If you like puzzle games you'd probably like this game. They were I-phone apps I think but not are free for everyone to play on the internet. And it's pretty entertaining.

Blue Rondo A La Turk - Dave Brubeck

Thank you Brittany for showing me her =D

Have a mentioned that you kind of make me want to vomit all over myself? No. Well you do. In other news I need ten cents.

She & Him - In The Sun

Okay so today is already flying by....I hate that. But I know once I get into class it's going to be super slow....and I hate that too. I have found that time spent doing homework makes time fly when you don't want it to and that the internet doesn't. I like the internet better. I finished that thing for Public Speaking. I still have a math test and a quiz in Health. Even though those things suck I hope today is a good day. I'll probably bomb my math test. But eh life. Well even though I'm going to probably have a sort of off day you have a good one everyone.

Hahahahaha!

Okay done with the laughing. It's just funny. =)

?

Really? No, no I don't think you get the right to tell me how I actually feel. I don't think that's how life works.

Silver Dollar City =)

I had a blast yesterday. I don't think I've acted like that in a long time. We giggled about gross and silly things. I acted like I was back in high school. And I loved it. I haven't laughed that hard really...ever. Everything we did was so funny...to us anyways. I can't even describe the funny things. So instead of writing and sounding like an idiot I'll put up pictures that you've probably already seen on facebook.

This is some nasty ketchup they gave me. It wasn't even stuck together with ketchup is the gross part.

This is Stephanie and me. I am dead and she looks like she killed me. =)

PUMA POWER!!!! And then Apryll and Stephanie decided to put their feet in too.

This is a cat by the bridge. I looked over and BAM! there was a cat.

Stephanie, me, Julie, Lauren. After our parade of being toy soldiers.

Well our Clue costumes won. Mostly because we looked so good and each of us fit into the part perfectly that how could we not win. We won a huge trophy and medals for each of us. Here is how we looked:

Legit right? I KNOW!!!!! This is us with our trophy:

See that thing is HUGE! My friends rock and I love them and I'm so glad this worked out as well as it did. It was probably the highlight of my semester. =) I wish I could hang out with them all the time because they are awesome!

Sorry that was a bit harsh. You aren't jerks. I still stand by the post though. I appologize if it was rude but I don't appologize for the meaning.

You guys are jerks. Please don't pretend to care anymore. You only talk to me when you want something for yourself. I may not make contact with you but I don't come to you wanting something either. There are obviously exceptions. Just be aware of how you handle things before every conversation is about how life is affecting you. I have issues to you know. That I don't get to talk to anybody about. Because nobody cares to listen. I do my fair share of complaining I am not going to lie about that. But when you don't talk to me for a very long time then expect sympathy you're probably going to get it. Because even though I think you're dumb for doing this I can't help but feel bad for you. Sometimes I just need to get things off of my chest for once. And I don't feel like I have a single person I can talk to. Don't give me the bull crap that you are here for me either because I know that if I started talk to anybody that they'd turn the conversation. I just don't feel like I have a best friend or "friends" anymore.

But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away....

but I probably will.

Tonight was rough. Found out my grades. They suck of course. I'll make it through it though. I just have to take it a day at a time and complete what I need to complete. I do have an A in English though which makes me very happy! I love that class. I hated English class last semester but this semester it rocks. It shows you that the way somebody teaches really affects the way you actually pick up information. Not saying that my teacher from last semester was bad because she wasn't but I just didn't understand as much.

We learned a new dance at danceline tonight! We have stairs, canes, and boas. I know you are really jealous right now because if I was you I would be. Our outfits consist of a vest, shiny rhinestone buttons and best of all a bowler hat!!!! I'm so excited!!! I'll have to put up a picture of it sometime which I will once we actually get them.

BOA tomorrow not looking forward to looking like crap next to high school kids. But you know it's whatever. I am excited to see their shows though. And spin inside a dome.

Here it is 11:30ish at night and I'm still no closer to finishing my homework than I was at 8. Maybe if I put down the bag of chips and turned off "I Shouldn't Be Alive" I would progress more. Although how can you argue that I shouldn't watch this show because what if I get caught in the outback and my car explodes? Or I get stuck in the middle of the ocean and I get stung by a bajillion jelly fish? Sounds like terrible happenings but obviously it happens or there wouldn't be a show dedicated to it. Meh I suppose I should just write and study. I don't honestly have that much to do I'm just so lazy. There's no denying it I'm flat out lazy. Wish I wasn't but I enjoy just sitting around doing nothing. Oh well...Buck up little Brookie and do your homework.

Haven't listened to this in a long time =)

Danceline went fantastic I was so nervous I was shaking. That big blonde wig named Stefani can really change you into some crazy wild girl ;) I can't wait until the next gig. That was probably the most fun I've had in a long time.

That last post wasn't exactly what you thought it was....

Everything is different and confusing. Just waiting for the day.

Screw this day.

Well that was a little more than awkward.

Doop doop doop Sabre line. Doop doop doop Danceline. Doop doop doop guard is awesome. I'm actually on rel sabre line. Before it was "okay everyone who tried out you're on sabre line. Now we have the "first" sabre line. Which is for the drum break and he put all the "good" people on. Although Zack and Alyssa should be on there too. But I am on it and scared to death. Also Stephanie called me about danceline saying John "forgot" to call my name. So upset for nothing. Not jipped again just forgotten. Now I get to shake my butt in a short dress and wigs. Woo!

Keep on putting me down and saying mean things. Go ahead. You're only making youself look like a jerk.

I love my friends. They freaking rock! I'm so excited for Thursday birthday dinner! Mmmmm Cheddars. School is going good this semester I'm actually remembering to do my homework. Except for math =S I have a homework quiz and need to do two assignments for it still. Everything else pretty peachy. My speech went well my English class is seriously the most fanatastic class I've ever taken. I love my teacher. Getting us to think and getting me to write werid stories, which I like to do but I'm usually unmotivated to do so. Well brief update but back to college algebra woo!

Keep on proving to me that I made the right descion I'll wait. Don't care? Really then why would you say anything about it at all.

Really? Really? Really? You suck! I hate this night!

My first speech went as well as it could've gone. People actually laughed and smiled so that made me feel better. Not at me obviously. Watched Clue with Heather, Alyssa, Luke, and Zack yesterday. It's so much more fun to watch that movie and relate it to your life and make the character you and your friends. For example I was Mrs.Peacock. We all kind of related to our character in some little way so it was pretty weird...I think so anyways. I love them people. Dear Brittany, our gays are both awesome. We just need to accept that they're different kinds of gays.

Tomorrow I have to give my first speech in class. I will probably pee my pants and throw up simultaneously. Not a pretty picture. I just want to get it over with so hopefully I'm like first or second or something around there. Hopefully they don't push it to Friday although all through class I'll be hoping for that. That is not what I want. I want to get it over with. Pushing it back only makes me dread it more and then I'll probably spontaneously combust. Also not pretty but reality...sort of. I'll mostly just feel that way. I keep telling myself everyone has to do it and everyone is just as nervous as you are and will probably think that they also sound like a complete and total idiot. It's okay you'll make it through just a semester of this. A fragment of your life. My little pep talk. Megan is coming over to listen to my speech. What a good friend hopefully she doesn't think I sound like an idiot because I think I sound stupid. I should just be mute.

I don't know who else was taking a picture and why we failed so bad but this is still super cute! I love guard =)

Sia - Soon We'll Be Found

Brandi Carlile-Oh Dear

Well camp was good. But it also feels good to be back. I am so tan now though. Cha cha yea! Back to the "real" world now.

Then maybe if I do that too much I just shouldn't talk or type at all. I told you so.

i have never felt so alone in my life.

This week and a half has sucked sucked sucked. Can't get rid of nightmares so I wake up every hour pretty much. Had a deer ram my car and break my front blinker. Just friends with my boyfriend. Although chris you are like the only one that reads it so I guess I'm just telling you over again. It was needed though. Needed some space. I want this string of stupid luck to just freaking go away and stop.

I hate you so much

I will not invite myself anywhere anymore. I will no longer make an effort to see people. If they want to see me they will make an effort if they don't it will hurt my feelings but I will get over it. Right now I smell some serious fermented fruit or something. YAY for smelling things that aren't really there. Well since my stomach hurt this morning I have had a headache since I woke up from my nap and I'm smelling odd things I'd say I'm probably sick, and not just in the head like I usually am. It's probably time for me to go to bed now since my face is burning up and I feel like I have a fever. But first I must say it seems like a lot of people post something like lyrics or faces at the end of their post. I'm going to post the last t.v. show I watched since I watch t.v. a lot. Well night sorry if this was awful I feel awful so it is reflecting in my post obviously.

Last T.V. Show Watched:Ghost Hunters

How come the more you tell people you need them the further away they get. I am guilty of this too believe me. It just hurts. I feel like I have no real friends anymore just people to hang out with. I am hearing there problems but do they really know mine. The only person I call not guilty to this is Chris he is the only person that will really listen if I have something to say. I am grateful for that. You can say "Oh I thought I was there for you Brooke" all you want but I really just feel like I get everyone else's problems. Not that I dislike hearing about your life. But anytime I try to say something about how I REALLY feel I get interrupted or people look disinterested that I'm failing out of college or that I'm really lonely. This is their face :

Hmph. That's the sound you make when you get punched in the gut, you are stressed out or you feel like no one cares.

Wooooweee Sun Burn

Went to the party last night. I had fun there were so many people there! I ate breakfast with my dad. I took a nap. I went and play ultimate frisbee and got SUN BURNT! Suckas it is itchy! I'll be okay though. Chris' is worse. Then we went to Braums. It hit just the right spot. I was so so hungry. Then we went and watched Sam sing a Borders. Then I was going to go spin but we ended up at a friends apartment and we played games and watched half of Mulan. Then I went to Chris' and watched a creepy Ghost Hunters. Which just made it even creepier when I was driving home and passed the graveyard and there was a fire and people standing around it. Not okay. Now I'm home itching this evil sun burn which hasn't hurt until now but I should be okay because it'll turn into a tan.

I worry?

[4:30:53 PM] Chris Williams: what are you up to now?
[4:31:40 PM] Brooke Goodin: eating cheez its
[4:35:14 PM] Chris Williams: that's fun and exciting
[4:35:34 PM] Brooke Goodin: sure
[4:35:35 PM] Brooke Goodin: you?
[4:36:06 PM] Chris Williams: was eating some cheesecake and watching friends
[4:36:14 PM] Brooke Goodin: ...
[4:36:22 PM] Brooke Goodin: are you a woman?
[4:36:51 PM] Chris Williams: would that make me cuter?
[4:36:59 PM] Brooke Goodin: ....

The weather is fantastic!

Ever sat there and wondered "Hey Brooke how do you accomplish staying up until about 5:00am every morning?" No? I'll tell you anyways. It is because I lay down then keep getting up to check random things like the weather or what would happen if I searched something on Google or what are those lyrics again.

Here is your ten day forecast since waiting for Local on The 8's is torturing. Probably just to me but if you also like seeing if you need your umbrella then there you go. I hate when people complain about the weather because they are wearing shorts and it is snowing. CHECK THE FREAKING WEATHER! I have no helped you in your wrong doings. Go out warn other people! Help the masses.

http://www.weather.com/outlook/travel/businesstraveler/tenday/65803?role


Also if I have to write important stuff down like "Sticky things to hang up Bulletin board" so I remember to get it at the store next time I go. Yes I really did capitalize the 'B' on bulletin when I wrote it down. I'm just throwing people off.

Also the weather people lie sometimes. So don't go off every word they say. It's always better to be prepared than to shiver in your shorts.

Opposing Arguments

I thought finally my turn to say something. Nope apparently I have no opinion on anything.

If you took that away from me. That one thing that I have loved for so long because of something I don't like. I would seriously never forgive you. I would pretty much despise you for the rest of my life.

Update:I wouldn't really hate you I would just be very angry with you for awhile. You know how much it means to me.

UGH!!! FML!!!! I think at least I'm funnier when I'm this tired or I think I'm funnier than I actually am when I'm this tired because everything is funny when you are tired. Well when I am tired everything is funny and done with that sentence. I have to leave in 4 minutes. Poooooop. School is killin' me. I think I will literally lay down in my front yard, after my last final and I have safely driven home of course, and die. That's what normal people do right? I figured. I tend to be a little over dramatic about such things. I bet you are sitting there right now thinking "Brooke? You? Dramatic? NO WAY!" but it is true I must tell you. Well I am shutting down this good ol' lap top now and trotting off to school.

I got it!!!!

Yesterdays softball games were straight from a movie. People were running back and forth between plates trying to get tagged. 3 people yelled "I got it" then ran into each other and none of them had it. Then some guys pants came off and he was out there standing in his underpants. I can't wait to play on Thursday guys games always get me pumped for mine. Even though I was awful last week. I'm making up for it this week. I'm glad I'm on the team I am though. Stress free =).

School is almost over =D. It's good and bad. Mostly bad. Because I am failing miserably. I can't pull myself out of it. Most of my guard friends are going back home for the summer or marching. I will miss them a bunch. I just want it to go by so fast that I don't even realize it.

I don't know. I really don't know.

Ugh oh sleep how you can be so good and so evil all at the same time. It really just isn't fair. Oh boy long day today. Let's get it over with. It's hump day baby! But not in the literal sense. Meaning that it's the middle of the week and then I really only have two classes the rest of the week so it's wonderful. And this probably sounds like a bag of crap sense I'm typing it at 4:00 in the morning and I am a little delirious to say the least. Still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life because that is the smart thing to do. Although I just want to do so much. It's not that I have nothing in mind it's that I have too much in mind. Also not fair. Also good and evil. Such is life.

I can't wait until summer so I can lay in my bed eating too much food and watch all five seasons of Ghost Whisperer. My life seems so exciting compared to yours. I realize this. Don't be too jealous now.

Oh Golden Girls. It's 80 degrees. And I'm eating cherry pull and peel twizzlers. Sure feels like summer. I'm pretty positive it isn't though.

"I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down

Just to keep you around

Cause the day that you realize how amazing you are

You're gonna leave me"

Waiting for class is lame. But new Kate Nash music is definitely far from lame! Plus a new cute cute cute music video to go with it. I just flipped to MTV and there she was singing her song as a stewardess from the 50s. Also I went to her website and found free downloads from her blog. BAM!! Good stuff. Puts me in a better mood. Also yesterday I hit myself in the face with a rifle. And although the bruise has gone away my face still hurts...a lot. It makes my left eye hurt.




Watch this =)

So here I am sitting by myself in Jessi's apartment. Well with the dog and bunny. They are so cute! This morning I heard a lot of cheering. Like a lot! For probably 30 minutes streams of woohoos! continued to wake me up. It was aggravating. Then I had some awful dream where I left somewhere I wasn't supposed to with some friends and gangstas tried to steal all my stuff. I was not happy I almost beat them down. Then my grandma and mom randomly appeared.

I know you hate us. That's okay because we don't like you very much either.

"I shall never grow up

Make believe is much too fun"

I'm sorry that I'm selfish and I want to do what I want to do and live how I want to live.

That makes me happy!!!! So cute!

Why do you ALWAYS piss me off when I'm fine and happy.

Well today is Monday. This past weekend was so amazing I'm still happy thinking about it. We had Kansas City Regionals this weekend and we got first in both prelims and finals. Even though prelims was a complete suckfest because we had mistakes that pretty much never happen. But we got to make up for it in finals with an amazing non suck fest.

"National Avenue (MO)(1st 76.8)-You fill up my senses with outstanding control of body, equipment and phrasing. Performing to John Denver's Annie's Song, this was arguably one of the most aesthetically pleasing shows of the day. Beautifully controlled weapons and silks extended to the audience from these talented performers. Well staged features controlled the floor like a painters brush on a canvas allowing the strengths of each individual to be featured in the beautiful performance. At the conclusion of the program there was no doubt the title of the program, as everyone wanted to "Love Me Again". "

That's our review from WGI pretty darned exciting if I do say so myself. Pride also had two really great performances. I was so excited for them screaming like a maniac in the stands. Not okay. They also came in first. With a 78.7! This season so far is going fantastic.

Links:
http://wgi.org/news/02222010-Kansas-City-Color-Guard-Review.html

I like driving around the city when it's warm out. And after I have taken a shower. So many good smells. Oh and listening to Imogen Heap.

Well school is lame. Yup.

-cough cough cough- BLUH

I updated my playlist. Have a listen. There's a lot less songs. And new ones. I'm the only one that listens.

wow wow wow let's just be huge douche bags about everything. OOO I wish I had enough guts to say more >=(

If you like Kristin Chenoweth watch this. I didn't know she was a christian it's good to see.

I think it's honestly the cutest thing I have ever seen!

People tell you to live how you want before it's too late. Or to live like you're dieing but then they go and put restrictions on you and try to make you live how they want you to live. It just doesn't make sense.

Uh oh class is getting closer and closer. Assignment status:Unfinished. Although I wonder if anyone else will be done with that paper either....Hm. So far this day has turned out good so I guess we'll just have to see =s

I love guard so much. It is the best thing in the freaking world.

Well it has been a year. Congratulations to us.

The past two days have been the weirdest two days I have ever had.

You know what that's okay. I don't like you. You big mean poopy headed poop face.

Boo! I already want to skip. It's just such a long day tomorrow. Monday's and Fridays will be nice but Wednesdays are gunna suck!

So far so good. Only one class but I think I'll really like my BIO class. The teacher is pretty nice and seems like he wants us to really pass his class and really do well. I love that.

I JUST MESS EVERYTHING UP!

A year is going to seem like nothing when we spend at least 50 more of them together.

I miss my guard friends.

Yes I know I'm pretty sure I have posted this before. It is still a favorite. But I think I might cut my hair like this. Because I'm pretty much obsessed with Kate Nash and she has super cute style so WHY NOT!?!?!?!

I like to set my web pages to English UK instead of English US. I like the extra u's in the words =)